The Liar, The Bitch and The Wardrobe | Union Theatre

Wartime Britain. Edward and Peter, who are ‘18 for legal reasons’, have to hide their relationship from a disapproving world. After being evacuated to a home for butch boys, they stumble across a wardrobe and accidentally enter a magical realm. Narnia, a land cursed by The Tight Bitch to be stuck in an eternal winter, but there is a prophecy and these two gays might be the saviors...

Written by Joshua Coley, The Liar, The Bitch and The Wardrobe made its debut at The Turbine Theatre (now known as Arches Lane Theatre) last year. Following its success, versions of the show are currently being performed at both The Norwich Theatre Playhouse and The Union Theatre in London. 

Leave your kids at home, this is definitely not the Narnia they grew up with. Queerphobes need not enter this world of sexual liberation on pain of being subjected to The Tight Bitch’s wrath. You have been warned. 

If the key to a good panto is a strong, beating heart that comes with a moral lesson, then this show definitely meets this goal. A story of overcoming internalised social prejudice and fighting for a more accepting and safe society. A clever use of adaptation as a form through which to share a different lense on a classic and a credit to Coley’s writing that this doesn't get lost behind the spectacle of the panto. 

So how does this show work as a pantomime? 

To begin, the highly parodied songs are absolutely iconic. From songs like “Y are you gay?” To the tune of “YMCA” and “It’s time to stop denying faggotry” as a parody of Wicked’s “Defying Gravity” are particularly stand out moments. Their placement is well considered, meaning that they become essential to the storyline, much like songs in musical theatre. Yet it must be said that we are disappointed that there isn’t a sing-along, a common feature in British pantomimes. 

There is audience participation and no-one is safe. If you thought you were in the clear sitting on the back row, Edward will pick on you and The Tight Bitch chooses butches from the audience to participate in a very filthy dance on stage. This in particular is utterly hilarious to watch and fun to clap along with. 

There are a few moments of the “oh no you won’t- oh yes I will” call and response. But “he’s behind you!” is sadly another missing feature, which would’ve probably aided the saucy comedy. There are no sweets. There is no Dame and the element of saying a character’s catchphrase, though established, is unfortunately very quickly lost. 

Katie Ball is arguably the unsung hero of this production, switching between a grand total of six different roles with ease. Each one presented with attention to detail, making them full bodied and helping to make the show easy to follow.  Tom Duern presents The Tight Bitch as the villain we love to hate. His sense of engaging with the audience is strong and his delivery of one liners is smooth and sharp. He also performs the roles of Gertrude and Barbara Douce with charisma and energy. Joe Pieri (Mr Topless and Edward) is the ultimate triple threat: jaw dropping singing, exceptional dancing and conveyance of characters which feel grounded. 

Additionally, James Georgiou gives the production a spark of childish wonder and teenage curiosity. His performance of Peter really hits home as we get to see a character in turmoil, scared to lose his friends and the person he loves most. He learns how to be brave enough to fight the Tight Bitch and show Edward true forgiveness after being let down. Georgiou's willingness to reveal his characters raw and vulnerable sides enables him to pull this off in a surprisingly profound way.

Overall, this show is a lot of fun and next level camp. The Liar, The Bitch and The Wardrobe is a delightfully queer romp through the winter woods, packed with enough innuendo to make a fawn blush. 

The Liar, The Bitch and The Wardrobe plays at the Union Theatre until 04th January 2026.

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★★★☆☆ (3*)

Gifted tickets in return for an honest review | Photography by Ben Bull