Da Vinci's Laundry | Riverside Studios

Da Vinci's Laundry, which is written by Keelan Kember and directed by Merle Wheldon, is a hilarious play about the high stake world of art collectors. The play leans into the elitism of these transactions, as art is considered a commodity as opposed to creativity. Da Vinci's Laundry is a 90-minute play filled with memorable characters, action packed sequences and a sweet nod to human connection.

Christopher (Keelan Kember) and Milly (Arsema Thomas), two young representatives from a reputable art dealership, find themselves suspicious about the authenticity of a supposed Leonardo Da Vinci painting. The wealthy Boris (John Albasiny), a Russian business owner insists on its value and intends to sell the painting to solidify his credibility in the British art world. Tony (Steve Zissis), a patriotic American enters, willing to pay any price to retrieve the painting for his client, a Middle Eastern Prince (Fayez Bakhsh). Unwilling and unable to verify the authenticity of the piece, Chris and Milly find themselves pawns in a metaphor game of Chess between Boris and Prince (through Tony). 

Kember's signature style, as unique and witty as ever, shines bright throughout the piece. Kember creates a larger conversation about the relevance of art and what defines the value of in the modern age, challenging the audience to contemplate the most famous paintings. Kember has clearly done his research, referencing artists and architects alike, as the characters debate the declining genuine love in growing collections. However, these questions are buried under the clever dialogue that embraces the individuality of each character, and dialling up every character quirk. 

Bakhsh appears late in the play, yet brings a regal air. Primed to be an explosive and deadly figure, Bakhsh basks in the novelty of the role, with a calculated appearance that lends him a variably gravitas. Both charismatic and threatening, any scene with the Prince feels like walking a tightrope, with the audiences clinging on to see what happens. Albasiny manages to win the audience over early in the play, with an emotional moment about fatherhood, and a protective nature that is both admirable and terrible. Albasiny later approaches Boris with unsettling civility, creating a character that feels perfect for stage.

Zissis nails Tony's extroverted and restless energy along with his firm political beliefs, making him a deeply entertaining character. His easy-going spirit and blunt speech makes him dynamic, often relishing the prospect of certain danger as he enjoys the adrenaline rush. Zissis' commitment with the patriotic outbursts and nosy nature often put him at odds with the reserved British duo. Zissis owns the stage with his vibrant personality, yet also demonstrates a more mature person as he quickly reads people's emotions and slyly employs his honesty to become a trusted confidant.

Thomas stands out with a sharp and clear sense of who Milly is. Milly's presence is a reminder of gender inequality in the art fields, as her determination to be taken just as seriously as Chris, is a subtle but important touch. Thomas' clarity in her morals and mission allows her to often engage and mediate tougher conversations, as well as being an unshakeable pillar. Thomas' moments of letting her guard down and being vulnerable are as fascinating to watch as her tough exterior. As sharp as a double edged sword, Thomas is brilliant in the role. 

Kember gives audiences the gift of Christopher. Kember's unique style both as a writer and performer renders him a fan favourite, as his awkward yet charming nature had audiences laughing throughout. The apologetic and timid British politeness and frustration is in Christopher, who's self-restraint is no doubt familiar to audiences. Bonkers, British and brilliant is the best way to describe Kember's performance as Christopher. 

Ellie Wintour has created a brilliant, cold, bright white set, that feels soulless and devoid of anything resembling art. Blank canvases have been lit up, acknowledging where the pieces feature. The focal point of the piece, the supposed Da Vinci painting, likewise, is never actually revealed to the audience, leaving them to use their own imagination. Although, the fast paced nature of the piece doesn't necessarily leave time for audiences to create their own masterpieces. In fact, the actual painting is the matter of least importance in the piece; merely the catalyst, which again speaks to the larger point Kember makes. A singular art piece, a silver balloon dog, is the gallery's centre piece, a running gags throughout. Four white chairs are moved between scenes, to create a sense of location change. 

Amusingly, the stage management team during these scene transitions are in outfits (also Wintour), resembling a hazard suit, keeping in touch with reverence that the paintings are held in. Jack Hathaway uses light to add colour into the room, often mixing in cheerful blues, pinks and purples, to add variety to the set outside of the gallery.

Da Vinci's Laundry is a hilarious play about a cutthroat world of classism within the art world. Kember's script makes the already strong concept all the more brilliant, lacing it with comedic genius.

Da Vinci's Laundry is currently playing at Riverside Studios until 25th October 2025. 

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★★★★☆ (4*)

Gifted tickets in return for an honest review | Photography by Teddy Cavendish